Child Stars, Adult Wrecks
Want an almost sure-fire way to ruin your kids' lives? Turn them into Hollywood celebrities at a young age.
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When my son was about five-years old, my ex-wife decided she wanted him to earn enough money to fund his college education. Like many parents, she was convinced he was the brightest, cutest, most talented child on the planet. So, in her logic, he was a natural for TV commercials and maybe some even bigger breaks. She hauled him off to Sacramento to visit some modeling agencies and begged me to go to a variety of "how to" seminars that taught parents how to get their kids "noticed."
Like many things in our marriage, she pouted and whined until she got her way. I finally drew the line when she wanted to drop hundreds of dollars on black & white glossies so he could have a "portfolio." She had this notion that he could just do a couple commercials, make a bankroll, walk away, and be ready for college in a dozen years.
I was deeply skeptical and strongly opposed. Thankfully, the idea just died a natural death and she moved on, eventually becoming mad and passionate about yet another new idea. (The marriage ended not long after and my son lives with me full time).
My concerns were pretty simple: I think celebrity - even modest - at too young an age hurts rather than helps, and I didn't think my son needed to be introduced to an alternate-reality world in which there was even a small chance he would be "successful." For every Ron Howard and Shirley Temple who manage to move from childhood stardom to successful adulthood, there are at least a hundred Britney Spears who crash and burn, regaling us almost weekly by pushing the bizarre-meter ever higher. The money and fame destroys them far more often than it truly enriches them as human beings (see this ABC News video). From Joel Haley Osment to Lindsay Lohan to Robert Downey Jr. to Drew Barrimore, the trail is littered with adults and older teens who would very likely press the do-over button now that they've experienced for themselves that money and fame don't equal happiness - and more often are the antithesis of it. I pity these folks. I pity their children even more because they are often such children themselves that they have no business creating new life until they prove that they've matured enough to take care of themselves, let alone offspring. Ever notice how few child stars encourage their kids along the same course? That might be a clue.
You would think that Britney's parents and siblings would have learned the lesson, but no - I guess one wreck in the family isn't enough, so now her younger sister Jamie Lynn Spears has to be groomed to careen off the same cliff. I hope I'll be proven wrong, but I doubt she makes it to 21 before it involves a trip or two through rehab and a plunge off the deep end.
The moral of the story? If you want healthy kids, keep them as far from Hollywood as you can. Have them earn money the old-fashioned way: work for it. Flipping burgers might not make them rich, but it probably won't land them in rehab minus their hair and sporting a few new tatoos.
